Women Protect Yourselves:
I received the following e-mail from a friend, and feel it is worth sharing without changes....
"I am creating this message for those people in my life who I love and care for, and I hope you all take it very seriously. I recently attended a personal safety workshop, and it jolted me. It was given by an amazing man, Pat Malone, who has been a body guard for famous figures like Farrah Fawcett and Sylvester Stallone. He works for the FBI, and teaches police officers and Navy SEALS hand to hand combat. This man has seen it all, and knows a lot. He focused his teachings to us on HOW TO AVOID BEING THE VICTIM OF A VIOLENT CRIME. He gave us some statistics about how much the occurrences of random violence have escalated over the recent years, and it's terrible. Something like 99% of us will be exposed/a victim of a violent crime."
After professionals interviewed rapists and date rapists in prison on what they look for in their victims, here are some interesting facts:
The #1 thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. The #1 outfit they look for is overalls because many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing and on overalls the straps can be easily cut. They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purses or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m.
The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms. The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught. Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years. If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming. These men said they will not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
Three reasons women are easy targets for random acts of violence are:
- Lack of awareness: you MUST know where you are and what's going on around you.
- Body language: keep your head up; swing your arms; stand straight up; look confident; maintain GOOD EYE CONTACT.
Wrong place, wrong time (DON'T be walking alone in an alley, or driving in a bad neighborhood at night) Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc, and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc). DONT DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
- Be aware of your surroundings: look around you; look into your car; at the passenger side floor and in the back seat. Check under the car as well.
- If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle... and, the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. If a predator has a gun and you are not under his control, RUN! IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
- POLICE only make 4 of 10 shots when they are in range of 3-9 feet. This is due to stress.
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN! As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT, it may get you raped, or killed...
DO NOT BE SYMPATHETIC TO A MAN'S PLEA FOR HELP! Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Pat Malone told us the story of his daughter, who came out of the mall and was walking to her car when she noticed 2 older ladies in front of her. Then she saw a police car come towards her with 2 cops, and they said hello. She also noticed that all 8 handicap spots in the area were empty. *The key word here is "NOTICED". She was aware of what was happening around her! As she neared her car she saw a man a few rows over calling to her, for help. He wanted her to close his passenger side door. He was sitting in the driver's seat, and said he was handicap. He continued calling, until she turned and headed back to the mall. Then he began cursing at her. She wondered why he didn't ask the 2 older ladies, or the policemen for help, and why he was not parked in any of the empty handicap spots. As she got back to the mall, two male friends of hers were exiting, and as she told them the story, and turned to point at the car, she saw that a second male was getting out of the back seat, climbing into the front. Then the car sped away. DON'T GET CAUGHT IN THIS TRAP!
Always take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone.) Do not get on an elevator if there is a "weirdo" already in there...of course bad men don't always look bad (Ted Bundy a case in point)! Do not stand back in the corners of the elevator! Be near the front, by the doors, ready to get off or on. If you get on the elevator on the 25th floor, and the "Boogie Man" gets on at the 22nd, get off when he gets on. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS run!
Tips which may save your life, if you find yourself in a violent situation:
- REACT IMMEDIATELY: If he abducts you in a parking lot, and is taking you to an abandoned area, DON'T LET HIM GET YOU TO THAT AREA. If you are driving, react immediately in the situation, and crash your car while still going 5 MPH. If he's driving, find the right time, and stick your fingers in his eyes. He must watch the road, so choose an unsuspecting time, and gouge him. It is your ONLY defense. While he is in shock, GET OUT. (This sounds gross, but the alternative is worse if you do not act.)
- RESIST: don't quietly go along with him: run, and if you are able: SCREAM. You DO NOT want to get to his crime scene.
- DON'T EVER GIVE UP!
- The ELBOW is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, DO!
If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, KICK OUT THE BACK TAIL LIGHTS and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
- ALWAYS keep your distance when walking past strangers on the street or in dark areas.
GET A CELL PHONE....there are packages for a few dollars a month that allow you to program only 911 into the dialing out program (this is for parents who say it is too expensive for their kids to have a cell phone.)
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT hand it to him. Toss it away from you. Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
- BREAK DOWNS: Avoid this by keeping your car in good working order.
- If your car does break down: you better have a cell phone to call for help, and lock your doors
- If you don't have a cell phone: Shame on you...
- Keep a blanket, a pair of warm clothes and boots, and a flashlight in your car for emergencies.
- If it's noon on a business day, you MAY want to put your hazards on and walk to safety
If it's 2 a.m.: put on your warm clothes, and walk to a lighted area. You are a perfect target if you are sitting in your car, broken down. Predators search the highways for easy targets like you. If you're on a desolate road: walk away from the car (in your warm clothes) and go to some bushes, or some area AWAY from your vehicle. It will be cold, and uncomfortable, but you DO NOT want to stay in your car. (There are no psychic boogiemen waiting in the bushes who knew you were going to break down.)
- Physical defenses that we can use against the violent predator:
- The eyes are the most vulnerable part of the body. Poke him there, and you have (possibly) your only window of opportunity.
- The neck is also a vulnerable spot, but you MUST know where to grip, AND HAVE THE STRENGTH to cut off his breath.
The last place is the KNEES. Everyone's knees are very vulnerable, and a swift kick there will take anyone down; *a cautionary note about these tips: if you do not do these things right the first time, you are in trouble, because it will only anger the individual, and that anger will be TAKEN OUT ON YOU. I'm not saying don't attempt them (it may be your only hope), but be forceful when you do.
- If you are walking alone in the dark (which you shouldn't be) and you find him following/chasing you:
- Scream "FIRE!", and not "help". People don't want to get involved when people yell "help", but "fire" draws attention because people are nosy.
Find an obstacle, such as a parked car, and run around it, like Ring Around the Rosie. This may sound silly, but over the years, 5 women have told Pat Malone that this has SAVED THEIR LIVES.
Your last hope is to get under the car. Once you are under it, there are tons of things to hold on to, and he will not be able to get you out. And, he will not come under the car for you... most likely... because usually they give up by this point. The catch here is that YOU MUST PRACTICE GETTING UNDER THE CAR. You must have a plan (he will surely have one); know beforehand if you will be going on your back, front, from the side or back of the car. It must be practiced.
Never let yourself or anyone that you know be a "closer" in any type of business (bar, store, restaurant, gas station) Pat knew Danielle, who was the girl that just died from being shot point-blank by some kids while she was closing at the local gas station. He talked with her the night before she died, and asked whether it ever scared her to close alone. She said "yes", but said "I'll be alright, Pat. I'll be alright." She wasn't. I didn't mean to scare you with any of this, but honestly, I hope it did. It should. Our world is not as safe as we pretend that it is, and living in our fantasy worlds WILL get us in trouble, sooner or later. "It won't happen to me" doesn't cut it, and is a bogus expectation anyway. Pat Malone said again and again that the women who die EVERY MINUTE from violent crimes expected to go to bed tonight, and get up tomorrow, and do it all over again, and again, and again. No one expects bad things to happen to them, but we Must be prepared and aware. We MUST HAVE A PLAN.